Sunday, October 17, 2010

Mess with the best; die like the rest.

That was a weekend.
Plane flew into Avalon at 5.10PM, or 4.15PM according to my phone. I have no idea what the 'real time' is..All i know is that was an amazing weekend with some of the most beautiful, most surreal, most incredible people i am lucky enough to call friends, sisters, familia, acquaintances, co-workers? They mean the world to me; my sister in law is married to my brother. This doesn't make her any less a sister to me than my blood sister. I love them just as much. I understand exactly how people decipher the derby family/cult aspect of it; but they're their for me. They send me 3AM texts if they think i've been too quiet. That proves loyalty, sisterhood, companionship.

I guess i can dotpoint majority. If followers of Derby read on;
1. the game had to have been flawed. No bias shown
*Scores were not shown
*Penalties were not called
*Jam Refs missed about 10 Call-Offs...

It was like a theatrical performance; all lights and sparkles(lack of lighting; actually). Look, it's great. Wonderful even that such a wonderful show was put together and GRDL were invited up for it. But one of my best friends got smacked in the Jaw and is awaiting results due to messy DANGEROUS play and no penalty was called. The girl even apologised for the way she high-hits. Don't apologise; don't DO it.
From the side lines the game was magical. It was GRDL in all their glory. Trapping, Running, Catching, Crawling, Waiting, Killing fucking WINNING that game.

It was premepted.
All i know is; i ate like i was on holiday.
from everything, including my anorexia. I haven't laughed that much in YEARS! I was uncontrallably happy. Now to come home settle in and find my rhythm. Strecthes, Yoga, Relaxation, Dancing, Skating, Laughing, Talking, Writing, Studying, Working. Finding my happy medium.

Why would KG make me happier?
Added i mean, for health sure. But for mind? Surely i would have made this assumption before. Assume NOTHING. I force food down my throat at sometimes a sickening disturbing rate because i am PETRIFIED for starving. I can't emphasise this anymore. I lose all control when eating. Sometimes.. on my good days i eat, i laugh, i talk it's all dandy. Then i go to do something and eat in secret, like a little fat rat. This is the part of me i do not like.

Mum tells me to not be so hard, but that in itself is remarkably difficult.

I will call J, A from now. There is no more Jailskate. After the heartache there gotta be some sunshine. I miss that boy more than anything. And i was going to fill the void with a little American Bulldog X American Staffy. But i can't do it. I want to. Will i? DO I? Why should i? HOW CAN I?

*Savage in "Boston Dawgs".
*Isis with Kebab AND Pizza.
*Crushed Apple Cider on Tap
*Sleep Talking
*Hurt from teammates "You're not a skater, skaters first"... thanks for reminding me.
*Iced Coffees and Toast
*My first Big Breakfast (9hours full)
*Shopping till i was dropping, not a cent on something wortwhile but a smile.
*Plans, Adventures, READY FOR IT!
*Seeing auld friends, from other lifetimes.

A girl i was in hospital with is now Skating as a Freshie for the Albury team... you have NO idea how much i smiled when i heard this.

That, THAT was a trip in itself.
5am Violet Crumbles.
Not sure about Pooch.
Working FULL ON.
Oh o.

Must work it out tomorrow. Woops i wrote work out.
No i will go for a walk tomrrow.
Stress Less.
Fun More.
Eat slower.
Less rules.

Make Happy and GO!

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