Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Happy Thanks Giving;

It's not a holiday we as Australians, nor the English/Scot in me would celebrate. But what a beautiful day to be recognizable of the things we as humans are thankful for;

What are you thankful for?
I am slowly feeling my way through one of the most down times i've had since i was nothing but a toothpick with fuzz and now i am only settling in even more so.. So what am i thankful for?

I'm thankful for the sunshine, when it shows his glow.. warmth, saturated grace.
I'm thankful for the dedication and tender care that goes into the rose gardens around Highland Way... i still try to stop and smell the roses.
I'm thankful for my mother, for never knowing what to say, and always getting frustrated, but always the first to hug me when i need it. I break her back everytime.
I'm thankful for my sister, who pretends not to care, but is always there to encourage me to smile. And is still the same little girl at heart, no matter how shiny her car and badge is.
I'm thankful for the way Bhoy and Duke love me, It is an unconditional 'feed me, and i'll die for you' kind of love. The kind that can give and give and give with no end.
I'm thankful for my dad, who can fix just about everything, and 90% of the time says the wrong thing... but on the off chance... what he does say always is the exact thing i need to hear, at the exact time.
I'm thankful for the people i work with; who only having known for such a short period of time have become like familia to me.. showing more support than i could ever have asked for... and being patient with me when my anxiety comes out in rhythms of toxic conversation... i'm actually a quiet achiever, i am more Lauren when i don't talk. Stack attacks with word vomit. Lauren would rather sonnets and mixed poetry with a hint of sarcasm.

I'm thankful for the illness i have somehow survived. SurvivING? And the constant battle it give me.. with the drive to push on. And the world for giving me little bits of 58 and chocolate which reminds me i haven't opened my advent calender today!!

However i punish myself, the lack of sleep to organized exercise and food. The constant need for perfection.... only makes me so content for those few hours when i DO see reality at it's brightest.

I'll beat your heart out, i promise you that much.
I will never give in to you.

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