For the first time in a few weeks; i gave myself the morning off from running.
To switch on the television and watch the recorded season final of PTTR, my shameless love for the fictional familia is overwhelming at best.
I empathize with Ben.
I awe at Ruby.
I love the whole show.
I cook myself a toasted spice fruit muffin with butter and enjoy a huge cup of Moconna.
All in peace and tranquility. Because i don't give myself enough.
To put it simply; if i'm not doing something. Then i'm doing nothing.
To relax means i must have done something in order to deserve the relaxed state.
Bhoy whimpers, because he has cracked the sads after me yelling at him for eating an entire ashtray, and it's ingrediants.
I'm biting the bullet and going to meet up with A-ron today.
I am not sure how this is going to go, or even if it is the sure thing to do. But i'm doing it, because i do miss him. And something has to change.
Everything has turned to brown and i spend most evenings alone, pitying myself for not having the balls to change. Writing lists and lists of things i want to achieve, places i want to go.. and never actually taking the steps to do so.
What has happened to me lately?
What has changed that has driven me back into this state of complete sadsack?
Whatever it is, kindly piss off.
It's Christmas Time, and i will NOT let you steal my sunshine.
27th November - Bloody Marys VS. Dead Ringer Rosies @ Melbourne Showgrounds.
5th December - GRDL XMAS BOUT - Grinchettes VS. Santas Little Hellpers
17th December - NO SLEEP TILL MELBOURNE
I don't want to be so wound up working that i forget to ENJOY things..
I use to ENJOY puppies and people, and i have driven myself into the ground completely, perfectly, exactly what i'd set out to do.. beat perfection.
There is no perfection in shrinking.