ni

Pid Dee Diddly Squat Me.

I haven't been this down..out of it..emotional..sad... depressed, in a long time.
I don't know what the reason for it, things seem to be sorting themselves out alright..i just can't get out of this shadow.

Like an eclipse that everyone is kind of prepared for.
A backwards downfall, i'm falling down hard.

I want my sister there for support; just greeting me good morning would be a start.
Am i expecting too much from her? from myself?

Ever since M sat me down in that room that afternoon shit has just gone rotten.
Basically telling me everything i thought i was okay at.. is wrong.. i'm lazy, distracted, and not worthy of the $ he pays me for casual hours.

I feel ripped off.
Broken hearted.
I feel like i'm never going to be happy again.

Facebook would be a brain numb-er but i don't wanna go back to that.
I'd rather sit on the front steps with a cup of tea and be miserable.

I can see this going on till the day i sink into that cold damp earth.
Derby? lost every ounce of passion, i go to training.. i'd rather be home.
Bhoy? My god he's precious but ocd is bitching me at the moment and i'm missing crucial days and hours spent without him... whence blogging.

seeya.